Convictions

 The word “conviction “ is a noun. One of its definitions is “a firmly held belief.”

The former president of the country I live in has just been convicted and found guilty of 34 felony counts in a court of law, by a jury of his peers.

I am conflicted by my reactions to this event.

In some ways I am relieved that accountability has finally come to pass  upon a mountain of what I have “a firmly held belief “ in as a long list of atrocities.

In other ways I have only sorrow. Partially because I do not think that this man will actually be treated like any other felon in the history of felonies. Accountability will not truly come to pass.

My other dilemma lies in the fact that there are many who view this as an atrocity and a form of political theater. These brothers and sisters of mine may still vote this man into office and I will be faced with the challenge of reconciling that which I do not comprehend. 

I truly believe that this man is the living persona and embodiment of our individual and collective shadows. On steroids. To the tenth power.  Unrestrained and shameless and staring us all in the face.

Staring me in the face. And asking of me to sit with all I fear inside  myself. And to heal these broken wounds with enough living light that I no longer project them onto the screen of a weary and trembling world. 

Others may believe that this growing darkness is personified by “ the other side” of this political divide.

What I am left with is how to mend those divisions within myself. How to stare down the shadows that appear on the screen of the dramas playing out before me. How to meet these characters as aspects of myself. Come to Bless me with inner contemplations of my own contributions and convictions towards the Whole. And to see all beings as great teachers come to point me towards my own propensity for darkness and the places where I hide. So as to heal them. Embrace them. Comfort them. And no longer project them onto the screen of the web of this world.

May we all learn how to shadow dance. Together. And to become the bridgework towards our deeper convictions. And to reach deep down inside. Far enough to form bread crumbs of our truest selves. That we may give each other sustenance on this journey Home.


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