The Day I Prayed to Be a Knight

 I grew up at the feet of the Catholic Church. For this fact I will forever be grateful. As a very young child, I felt wrapped in Mystery and a deep intuitive sense of the Holy and the Absolute. Although I could not articulate or fully understand these mysteries as a child, they formed the foundation for the whole of my life.

My relationship with the Church overtime has been a process of unraveling and reweaving a multifaceted tapestry.

It has been a journey of heartbreak, disillusionment, disappointment, redemption, rediscovery and empowerment. All in the same, luminous, fibrous strand.

It has been a lot like loving a child who has gone astray. I never stop loving what I feel in my Heart the Church could one day be. If only they remembered Him, and She who bore Him, and the true legacy of The Way they came to teach us all. They did not come to this Earth in physical form to start a religion, or a political ideology or agenda. I believe they came to remind us to Love one another. And that there are no “others.” And that the Kingdom of Kindness and Compassion and Truth resides at all times within our own Sacred Hearts. 

There is a local Shrine in my neighborhood where Our Lady is Honored. The very grounds of this place feel pure and saturated and fed by prayer. There is no sense of anything other than Peace for me as I walk these grounds.

When I was young, the two feet of the Church I was raised in were very different and unbalanced. The body of the Church was out of alignment. On the one side I was told that I am a sinner of great unworthiness. I stared up at the crucified Christ on a daily basis. And I deeply apologized, for it was obviously all my fault.  On the other side of the body of the Church, I found the body of the Blessed Mother. She held us all in Her arms. Right beside Him. She whispered to me that I was Loved and Beloved and that all of us are. She asked me to forgive, and to give witness and to lean in to Her guidance. She assured me on a daily basis that All is Well and Always Will Be. She assured me that He is no longer crucified, and that neither should we continue to crucify ourselves or each other. She spoke of Heaven as being at my very feet, and not as something I would ever have to wait for. Her Voice, to this day, rises up within me. Above all the chaos and noise of this world. She asks me to incarnate fully. In spite of apparent darkness and shadows. And to show up holding Light in my Hands, which She Pours Forth, for those who grow weary.

At my local Shrine and Grotto,  the Nuns have allowed for women to become knighted in Her service as “The Knights of Our Lady.” Our Ladies Knights are now made up of men and women who seek to serve in witness to Her Grace.

I applied long ago, but Our Lady guides the pathway, and I would be needed at that time to serve my own earthly blessed mother.

This time, while overcome with gratitude for Her on her feast day, a Knight met me at the door of the Church. My Heart leapt. My words spilled over before I even knew I was speaking. And I applied again that day, to become a Knight.

There are so many paths to tread. So long a winding road ahead. I pray that we are deeply lead. To find ourselves on bended knee, revealing what our steps should be. Erasing all uncertainty and praising all as Blessed Be.

“For here beneath life’s crushing blow, where forms are bending low. Who toil along the climbing way, with painful steps, and slow. Look now, for glad and golden hours come swiftly on the Wing. Oh rest, beside the weary road, and Hear The Angels Sing.”

Oh Holy Mother Let it Be

That We become your hands and feet 

That we may be the Light we seek 

As sustenance for those we meet 

Although the path may wind and swerve 

May we seek first to lift and serve

And in our service may we find 

The purpose of the path is kind

And leads us ever, always Home

Where we have always been.

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