The Holiness of Hopelessness

 The title of this essay may appear to be misleading. As if it were a testimony to despair. But I assure you, it is quite the opposite.

I have been studying the nuances between three energies as I walk the landscapes of our current world unfolding. In my own life as well, there are terrains I must learn how to walk through towards safe landings on firmer ground.

The world is at war. Children are suffering the effects of the adults who have lost sight of them. There is unspeakable violence. Inhumanity and division seem to grow bleaker with each passing day.

I have been examining the essences of three Teachers inside me that once felt like life jackets in troubled waters.

These are the hallowed teachings of Hope, Faith and Belief. They are at times, singular and powerful of their own accord. At other times, they are intertwined and I find myself unraveling their threads to enlighten my understanding of their inner cords.

As of late, I am learning to shed the skins of all three. In honor of what they’ve all taught me and of what they now lead me to see.

I now know that what I deeply Know, is the only raft I truly need in order to flow in these transient Seas. The paradox of the essence of What I Know, is that it is deeply married to What I do Not Know. And it must be so.

At times I have found myself in the Sacred wellsprings of complete Surrender. All I knew was that I did not know the way, but that the way would be revealed. Often through the lessons on the journey of not knowing, a greater Understanding of the journey itself is realized and made known. When I give up Hope, it is my attempt not to leave the Theater before the end of the Play because things are not going “my way.” It is my acknowledgment of a greater way that is not yet mine to know. It is a flotation device that allows me a full surrender to the flow of the mystery that surrounds and breathes us all. There is a Holiness to Hopelessness. It allows me to stop grasping at the Water as it trickles through my clutching hands and  allows it to sustain me in its endless ebb and flow.

I have abandoned Hope, to find liberation in what I Know.  And claim it as my core of Truth.

I Know that we are made of Love. By Love. And for Love. I Know that we are experiencing a lifetime in which we are all characters playing out our parts on the screens of our shared Lives. I Know that Love can lead us, if we let it, and if we seek it in ourselves and each other. I Know that a bigger picture is unfolding that is greater and more beautiful than our wildest of imaginings. And I Know that we all hold within us, the capacity to imagine it.

I Don’t Know How these things will come to pass that will lead us towards a new birth of the Love we were meant to Be.  I Don’t Know how long it will take or how many will suffer or how long the roads of our learning will be.

But I Do Know that we are learning. That I am learning. And that I am not separate from You. No matter what character You play out on the screen of my life. 

I Do Know that I myself am a character in Your story as it unfolds within your own understanding.

And I promise You this. 

I am learning to choose to be lead by Love only. And to be taught by Her children of honesty, integrity, sincerity, surrender and humility. I Know that if I hold such hands along the way, I will hold Yours a little more tightly and You will feel my Heartbeat in Your Hands. And through each other we will understand. As we walk together.  Deeply Knowing.  We Are One.


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Realm of Shadow and Light

 I recently saw a post on social media that caught my eye and captured my attention.  At first I wondered why someone would post such a grim and disturbing photo amidst these troubled times that beg for hope and healing. In the photo there is a doorway that largely reflects the shadow of a gnarled and twisted and lifeless tree. The shadow looms and seems to hiss and contort itself into the face of a monster who has come to devour its prey. I questioned why this photo would be shared with such a trembling and tender world. I could not, however, look away. I studied it closely. I wondered and sought answers. And I decided to read the comments of others who had viewed the post. Through the commentary I heard the chorus.  Through the commentary I was given a metaphor for life.  In one clear voice, those who had commented, sung out this essential refrain: Look Toward The Light. I revisited the photo and shifted my focus. There before my eyes, staring out from beside the dark shadows, was a
Read more

Daughter, Move Back

 There was no fanfare. No Angel Wings. No flowing robes or crown of stars. There were no trumpet sounds or epic light displays. But the feel about Her was a Deep Blue Sea, a Star Kissed Sky and the Vast Expanse of Mystery, wrapped both in Presence and Eternity. She looked like one of us. Just like the girl next door or your own best friend or the oldest, most familiar Sacred Space you’ve ever known.  She spoke to me through impressions that I understood instinctively. She was a force to be reckoned with and held a deep command. Though not aggressively or oppressively, but as one in tune with Truth and utter Certainty. She told me to move back. And so, with Awe, I released the dying body of my mother. I released her labored breath, her twisted hands, her racing heart. I moved my chair back to the end of the bed and turned it around to face Her as She drew closer to us both. My mother’s face was turned in the direction of the window.  Our Lady swept Her hand in Graceful, slow motion inte
Read more

What the Wind Said

 I have recently had to remember how to unplug and how to tune in. There have been several diagnoses. Some for myself. Some for those I love. A diagnosis can be a slippery slope. Of action and pause. Of reflection and cause. Of claiming, reframing and finding out what we are made of. The daily news confounds my nervous system. Although I feel I must not look away, and I must do my part, a steady diet of what is wrong does not feed me strong enough seeds of what I can do to make “right”. I’ve turned to distractions that I told myself were for my enlightenment. In particular, a series of spiritual stories on film that captured my attention and made me want to be a better person. I visited the social media pages of others who had gathered there. To my surprise they were filled with judgments, criticisms and condemnations. A virtual platform of “my sense of rightness” throwing stones at      “your sense of rightness.”  It was painful and felt like a mirror of what I have to work on within
Read more